I Am...A Canadian Trucker.People often mistake me for an American. I've even once told a lady I was Mexican and she believed me. Of course, she was a little fair in the hair and light in the loafers. Either way, Americans are my closest neighbors and are like brothers in times of trouble and need. However, we are different in many ways. So with tongue in cheek and hand on heart, I will entertain you with my diatribe:
I Am...A Canadian Trucker.
* I know the names of all my provinces...and all your states.
* Rusty truck parts from the south will always be better than my "good" Canadian tin.
* Beavers in Canada are found on currency, not carrying it.
* I'm used to hearing my southern neighbors say, "They never made Merc trucks!"
* I know what a Fargo, Beaumont, Frontenac, Meteor, Bricklin, and Canso are...and where they were made.
* We speak the same language, but we say ZED is the last letter of the alphabet. So we listen to Zed Zed Top, we do jobs the E -Zed way, and at the end of the day try to catch a few Zeds.
* I don't fret over wet roads, only icy, unsalted ones. I don't know anyone who owns tire chains!!!
* I keep my hockey equipment in the back of the truck so it will air out, and know when I put it on it will be just the right temperature.
* I don't think I have an accent.
* I don't really say "eh" all the time, do I, eh?
* I will not go to cruise nights (parking nights?) every Sunday, but would rather cruise Sunday all day and night.
* I don't wear snowshoes or carry a set of skis in the bed of my truck all year, but will play along with the jokes.
* I know a "loonie" isn't your neighbor to the south, but something worth about 65 cents or so in "real money," depending on the market value.
* I automatically add exchange, PST, GST, duty, and brokerage fees to everything I buy and have sent into Canada.
* I bring Mercury truck parts to Tennessee to trade for parts to build my truck. I comparison shop for best prices.
* I'm an SOCP club member and founder...and darned proud of it!
* I think minus 10 degrees is still okay for working in the garage.
* I think beer should be closer to 6.5 percent than to water.
* I do love my truck, and will do as much as I can to build it myself. But friends and real car people do some work.
* And when it's done, I promise I'll drive it all I can, in the rain, maybe even in the snow.
* I will not buy a car cover for it. I will park it in my driveway overnight, and I will drive it to work sometimes.
* I will not baby it, will squeal the tires at least once, and will race some clown in a Zedder (see that's how you say it!)...and beat him!
* I will take my truck to the Supernats even though it's a 15-hour drive each way. I will not open the hood because I just want to be there, not to be judged, plus I'm too lazy to wash it.
* I know what the "Poor Boys Run" is and I have done it most every year.
* I am up at the crack of dawn or the sound of the first open exhaust tone. I will wander around until 2 a.m. just so I don't miss anything.
* And I'm proud to say, I am...A Canadian Trucker
A few columns back, I was telling you about the F-100 Supernationals Anniversary F-100 that is being built for the big 2003 show. Well, I'm not really sure where my brain was that day, though what I said will likely tell the tale. I said that Eddie Hill was building the truck when in fact I should have said Eddie Smith(past Truck of the Year builder). Gotta eat crow on that one, though it might have been one wild ride had it been true, since Mr Eddie Hill is well known as one of the fastest drag racers around! To Eddie Smith's credit, this is becoming one amazing truck, as anyone who attends the Supernats will be able to attest to by the time you read this column. So again, apologies to Eddie Smith and Pat Ford for my mistake, and keep your noses in CLASSIC TRUCKS for updates on the truck's progress.